Men, real men (so the popular theory goes) are able to fix things, even make things. They keep wood in their sheds in case they need it someday. They have toolboxes with tools in that they know the names of, what they are used for and actually know how to use them!
Real men (so the popular theory goes) cope well when their car breaks down. They lift the bonnet (or hood for my North American friends) and can understand what they see and are often able to get the car back on the road without phoning for outside assistance.
The popular theory also says they don’t cry – well the big ones don’t.
If the popular theory is true then I am not a full/real man. My wife discovered this during our early married life when I attempted to assemble our flat pack furniture. Quite a shock for her as her father kept wood in case he needed it – and he often did.
Over the years I have realised a few things – some of which I can share:
- Popular theories don’t always stack up
- Even though I don’t fix or make things I am still a valuable human being
- Everyone has their strengths and it is quite acceptable to hire people to compensate for areas we are not skilled in (our current guy is Bill)
- All people should (and do) cry – some just choose to only cry on the inside.
I certainly don’t feel bad anymore because my personal skills don’t fit the popular theory – although it took some time for me to reach this point.
I may not know how to fix a broken down car but I can
- sit with a young person and help them identify their ideal future
- work with a parent who is struggling to keep their child motivated
- spend time with difficult family situations seeking reconciliation
- help you achieve your dream!